My Dog is Still Dead, I am Still Sad
And Someone Please Take My Phone Away so I stop Trolling Rescue Posts
Today is Betsey’s gotcha day. She would have been with us for two years.
Instead, she has been gone for exactly twenty days. I’m still not use to it. I keep putting my son’s snacks where she can’t reach them. I look at my watch at the park to see how long we’ve been gone as if I have a dog at home that might need to pee. The other day, the doordash guy bringing my son’s french fries was outside my front door, yelling at me through the window to open my door. After a heated exchange of curse words and me demanding he leave the food and walk away, I immediately got emotional because Betsey would have ended that confrontation in seconds. Just like the time she scared away a crazy person that came at the dog sitter while on a walk. She may have been old but when she wanted to be a fierce, big dog she could go zero to apeshit like a mamma bear protecting her cubs.
My son keeps asking for Betsey and Kona to come over and play. Or he asks to go to Heaven. Like its a Target run. I tell him we don’t get to go to Heaven yet. He is ok with that answer. He isn’t sad or confused. I’m very grateful for that. Though going through the script can be rough, I’ll admit.
If there are stages of grief, I keep going back and forth between sadness and anger. It just doesn’t seem fair. She was healthy and happy. She had just seen the vet. I have already gone through watching two different boxers with DM and one with cancer. I would have soaked in more of those moments cuddled on the couch together or the walks just her and I would take.
Someone asked me, “Isn’t it better that it was sudden?”
No. Not even a little.
I scroll through her pictures. I wish I had more video. Especially from her snow trips because that dog absolutely loved romping in fresh powder.
To handle my anger, I find myself scrolling rescue posts, looking at dog pictures. My husband calls it “dog porn”. Are you looking at dog porn again?
And I lie and say I’m answering work emails. When I’m totally looking at pictures of dogs.
I try not to read the comments on these rescue posts though, because then it takes all my adult willpower not to troll people. What I’ve noticed is rescue posts always have the same types of responses:
you have the person that says, “too bad you don’t adopt to (insert random other state) or (random country)”
where is it located? even though the post clearly states the location of the dog. Or, if you looked up the rescue, it clearly says where they are located. Let’s not act like it take Sherlock Holmes to figure it out. We have all played detective on social media at one point in our lives. I for example love to look up the guy that bullied me in high school. Spoiler alert, he still can’t drive a car because of his suspended license and multiple DUIs.
the it looks just like my (insert random dog name here). And they post a picture of their dog. Guess what? It never looks like the dog the rescue posted.
and then there is the favorite: the person who says something like, I wish I could foster/adopt but….then proceeds to give the most asinine excuse ever.
I try to tell myself any comments count as engagement and hopefully help the post be seen by more people. But I cannot imagine the frustration of the rescue having to go through all these comments hoping for something useful and finding mostly garbage comments and emojis.
That said, I’m not just a crazy lady on an emotional rollercoaster right now ;) I will end with some good news…
Betsey’s former rescue R&R Boxer rescue reached out about a pregnant female that will need a foster home. Once she is done with her responsibilities as a mom, she will be making the journey to us. And I will be sharing more about her later.
Her puppies will be available through NWBR as the two rescues have been working in tandem to help rescue boxers. NWBR has a lot of puppies right now. So please take a look. They don’t just need adopters but help with supplies, as puppies have some demands.
Whoa, truly feel ya on this one. Also lived through long-term caregiving for my boys with DM and MCT, but lost my deaf girl Sprite suddenly earlier this year (after a brief illness-unsure what exactly), and it was such a traumatic shock that I still haven’t fully processed it. Took months for Dilbert to come back out of his shell and he only just started picking up toys again. But at least I have the boys to keep me going; IDK how I’d handle only one pupper; thank goodness for the intern. Thank you for sharing, and helping another pup in need. Hugs!
I know you are still sad and my heart breaks for you! Sending hugs and prayers!