Car Wash Adventures
aka Management Saves Mom's Life again!
Management went through the car wash this morning for the first time ever (with me). And a Facebook follower (yes we are back on Facebook) asked if she wouldn’t mind telling us about the experience. Seeing as she has added writer to her resume, as the author of the column Dear Management, Life Advice From a Senior Rescue Dog. I figured it couldn’t hurt to ask her about the experience.
So after her afternoon sunbathing ritual, she settled on the ‘doggy end’ of the couch, which is the one with her blanket. And I dictated her response as she eyeballed my chicken tacos lunch on the coffee table…
“I admit, as much as I like my tiny human brother, when he’s gone at Meemaw’s, I am always extra excited. Usually this means Mom will take me on a walk or at the very least, I get all the attention for myself. When mom went and grabbed the leash, game on! I was extra prepared too because I didn’t pee or poop earlier. Leaving me with plenty saved up for marking. What can I say, I like to stop a lot along the way. At my age, you gotta stop and smell the roses. And then pee on them. And smell them again….
We step outside and next thing I know, Mom is lifting me in the car because as she says, I am a princess. And there I was sprawled across the seats like I own the place, windows down to dog knows where. Maybe 3 minutes or twenty minutes later (I have no concept of time), we are pulling up to a place I had never been. Sitting still. In the dark.
When all of sudden, out of nowhere, comes loud noises, water spraying all over the car and these giant blue things coming at me in what can only be described as a wet, spinning nightmare designed by someone who clearly never consulted a dog. "Don't worry, Betsey," Mom says, patting my graying muzzle like I'm some nervous puppy.
Worry? Lady, I survived being dumped at a shelter - a little mechanical foamy funhouse of terror isn't going to ruffle these old whiskers.
Mom of course is doing nothing but watching me and I have to save her life yet again. As those enormous brushes came at us like demented blue pomeranians with way too much energy, I thought, "Well, this beats a bath,”
I barked and snapped till they disappeared. Only to have them come back a second time. Mom meanwhile is laughing and trying to take pictures! How many pictures of me does she need?! Seriously, woman.
After some more loud noises, it was clear they’d had enough and I sent them scampering off with their blue brushy tails between they weird shaped legs. That’ll show ‘em.
By the final rinse, I was grinning like a golden retriever with two tennis balls, thinking this might just beat belly rubs as my new favorite thing. Sometimes life's best surprises come when you're too old to give a damn about looking dignified - and frankly, dignity is overrated anyway.
Now, how about a bite of that taco since I was such a good girl?”
Check in with us Sunday evening for the next installment of Dear Management. Feel free to ask Betsey questions in the comments and she may get back to you. Depending on what incentives I promise her.
